


Healer or Warrior

by silvertrails



Series: Second Age Arc [10]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26586121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Alagoss eats some false chanterelles and they make him sick.
Series: Second Age Arc [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1247159
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Healer or Warrior  
By CC  
September 2020**

I make no money with this. I’m only having fun writing the stories. Alaagoss and Eleborn are my characters.

This is my entry for the SWG Challenge: Naturalist’s Guide to Middle-earth. I chose Mushrooms: Description: A detailed depiction of two similar mushrooms, a chanterelle and a false chanterelle; the first denoted as edible, the second unenjoyable.

Image Credit: Biodiversity Heritage Library

* * *

Alagoss woke up, feeling disoriented after falling asleep near a copse. He had been traveling alone through the lands south from Menegroth, and he had stopped to eat. He had added some mushroom he found to the meat of his last hunt, and they had made him feel sick. Water had helped, and what Miruvor he still had, but he had obviously mistaken the mushrooms for the chanterelle that used to grow near Lake Mithrim. 

That had been so long ago…

It would not happen again. He had saved a few of the false mushrooms, determined to find the real ones and compare them. Chanterelle were edible, and good if properly prepared. He had been so tired and hungry that he had simply picked them and cooked them.

After Arakáno died, he had followed Nolofinwë to Lake Mithrim, feeling the weight of his failure to save his friend. Older healers had told him that the wound had been too deep, and that no one could have done anything to save the prince. Alagoss knew, but he had been the one to see his friend’s eyes grow vacant while Ecthelion held him in his arms. 

He had followed Findekáno to Hithlum, and when the king had died, he had left and decided to travel on his own. And so, he was alone, and missing his mother who had stayed back in Tirion. 

A sound made him look up, but his vision was still blurry and when he managed to clear it, he saw a tall, blond Elf looking at him.

“Laurëfindil?”

“He is a Golodh,” another voice said. “Can you speak Sindarin?”

Alagoss tried to answer, but his stomach hurt. He could see Findaráto crouching in front of him now. “Findo?”

“He is hallucinating, Eleborn. Let us take him to the encampment.”

“I will carry him,” the first voice said, “and no, we are not Golodhrim. These are the lands of King Oropher, and I am Thranduil, and this is Eleborn, my brother.”

“Thranduil…” Alagoss whispered as Laurëfindil picked him up in his arms. His face changed, though, and Alagoss saw anmother Elf, grey eyes and long, blond hair. He tried to speak, but he was so very tired.

He was carried into a tent, and a doctor came to see him. “These mushrooms, my Prince, are false chanterelles. They made him sick.”

“Hm. Will he be all right?”

“He will. May I ask his name, my lord?”

“We don’t know. Take care of him, Gelon. He is a Golod, and he speaks the forbidden language.”

“I understand some of it, my lord.”

“Good.”

“Thranduil, our father is asking for you.”

“Let’s go, brother.”

Alagoss wanted to speak, to tell the healer that he understood Sindarin too, but a cup was placed against his lips, and he drank all of it. Then he fell asleep, dreaming of mushrooms dancing in a golden field.


	2. Chapter 2

They were going back to the Greenwood. They had dealt with the new pack of Orcs that had reappeared and helped the Men who dwelt on the western border of the forest to build better defenses against Orcs and another threats. It was time to go home, with his newly returned brother, and with the strange Golod that he and Eleborn had found hallucinating after eating those false chanterelles. 

Thranduil had been to the healing area only once, and he had stood there watching the Golod sleep. Alagoss was his name, Eleborn had told him, and he had come from Tirion with the host of Fingolfin. Apparently, he was a healer, which left Thranduil perplexed. How could a healer mistake one type of mushrooms with other?

He shrugged. The Goldohrim were strange, and could be treacherous, so in principle he did not trust them. His father had agreed to take Alagoss with them after speaking with him, though. Master Gelon had told Eleborn that the Golod was fit to travel, so why bring him with them now?

Thranduil looked at the stars, so dear to his people. His father had told him that when the Golodhrim came, two lights rose from the West and nobody could see the stars for a while. Then something changed and the lights not only rose up into the sky at different times but from the East.

“What is it that troubles you, my son?”

“Father…”

“You seem troubled.”

“Eleborn told you.”

Oropher raised an eyebrow. “Do you think I do not know my sons, Thranduil?”

“I meant no offense, Father.”

Oropher smiled. “Eleborn did tell me, but I have been watching you.”

Of course, Eleborn would. 

“I do not understand why we are taking the Golod… Alagoss with us. Master Gelon says he is fit to travel alone.”

“Not all Golodhrim are the same, Thranduil.”

This was a first. Thranduil had heard his father speak of the sons of Finarfin, of how they came to Menegroth, and hid what the sons of Fëanor and Fingolfin had done.

“Alagoss is alone, away from his kin, and though he is fit to travel alone, he needs company until he finds his way.”

“It was his decision not to go with Turgon.”

“It was. Have you talked to him, son?”

“No. I have been busy with my tasks. Eleborn has been to the healing area many times and talked to him.”

After his ordeal, Eleborn still needed to heal, both physically and mentally. Maybe it was the same with Alagoss.

“I believe that you should talk to him. Eleborn is calmer now, and we have Alagoss to thank for it.”

“Is he a healer, then?”

“Healer when he came to these lands, warrior when Fingolfin and his eldest son went to war. Now he is lost, and willing to be of help. Get to know him, Thranduil. If he stays in the castle, he will be one of us, and you as my heir need to know him.”

“And if he leaves…?”

“You are speaking about betrayal. I am wary of the Golodhrim too, my son, but I know when an Elf is true. He chose not to go to Turgon’s hidden city, he does not know where it is.”

Thranduil nodded. “I will get to know him, father.”

Oropher smiled. “Now go to sleep. We leave tomorrow at dawn. I want you to be rested, Thranduil. You have done more than anyone to keep our people safe. I am proud of you.”

Thranduil thanked his father, and stayed there for a moment, watching his father head for his tent. They had lost so much, Thnaduil’s mother had died when the Orcs raids began. Eleborn was back after years of enslavement. If Alagoss helped to keep him calm, Thranduil was grateful. He would talk to the Golod, but he would also keep an eye on him. After all, Alagoss was part of the House of Fingolfin, and most of them were in Alqualondë and killed Thranduil’s kin.


	3. Chapter 3

Alagoss had finished helping the healers to pack their instruments and healing herbs and vials. He had stayed with them since he was brought to the encampment by the king’s sons. He had spoken to King Oropher once and answered his questions. He had spent most of the time with Eleborn, his younger son. He had seen Thranduil once or twice from afar, but after saving him the king’s heir showed no interest on speaking to him.

“Are you ready?”

It was Eleborn. 

Alagoss smiled. “I am ready. My clothes are in my horse’s saddlebags. Thank you for bringing Nestad here and taking care of him.”

“We could not leave him. He is a fine horse.”

“Yes. He has been with me for a long time.” 

“There is that shadow on your face again, Alagoss. I wish I could help you like you help me.” 

“You do help me, Eleborn. You understand my Sindarin better than the healers. I would have been forced to speak by signs had you not been there to help.”

“You speak it better than you give yourself credit for. I hope you will continue teaching me Quenya when we get home.”

“That is a forbidden language among your kin, Eleborn.”

Eleborn smiled. “I do not care, and you know that.”

“Eleborn!”

“Here comes my brother.”

Alagoss watched Thranduil coming, and he got the feeling that Eleborn’s brother did not approve of his presence in the encampment. Maybe it was his imagination, though. He still felt weak because of the false chanterelles. Apparently, he had found the most toxic of the lot. 

“Alagoss, this is my brother, Thranduil.”

“Greetings, Prince Thranduil. I have been waiting to thank you for your help. It was kind of you and Eleborn to bring me here.”

“We did what had to be done. My brother tells me that you are feeling better now.”

“I am, and I will go on my way after we reach the King’s castle. He invited me to stay there, but I know that being a Noldor… a Golod, that is not my place.”

“Nobody will say anything if you stay,” Eleborn said. “And I need you, so enough talk about leaving.”

Alagoss sighed softly. “You know I will have to leave one day my friend.”

Thranduil cleared his throat. “As Eleborn says, if our father has invited you to stay with us nobody will dare to say anything against you. My father invited you, and my brother considers you a friend. That is enough for me and will be for our people.”

“Thank you.”

Thranduil nodded. “Father is calling for you, Eleborn. We are about to leave.”

“Will you be all right, Alagoss?”

Alagoss smiled. “I will. Go. I do feel better.”

Thranduil looked from Eleborn to him but said nothing. Once they left, Alagoss headed to the area where the horses were. Nestad neighed as soon as he saw him coming. Alagoss smiled and gave Nestad a treat. 

“I have missed you, boy.”

Nestad had been with Alagoss from a long time, but he knew that his beloved mount would die in time. This saddened Alagoss and made him remember the Blessed Lands, where he had lived with his mother, and where his father, Morinehtar, had given him a colt as a birthday gift once. 

“Here,” Master Gelon said, and gave Alagoss two vials with medicine. “Only the King knows about this, but maybe Prince Eleborn should be told too, my lord.”

“Thank you, Master Gelon.” Alagoss put the vials inside his cloak’s pockets. “And please, there is no need for Prince Eleborn to know. I will be gone before my illness gets worse. And call me Alagoss, please.”

Master Gelon looked at him for a moment. “I will continue searching for the cure, Alagoss, but I will report to the King if you become more ill.”

“I understand.”

Alagoss got on Nestad and urged him to a walk. His “illness” was one of the reasons for him not to follow Turgon to Gondolin. It had been a dark curse, cast on him by someone he never saw. He was alive only because of his Maiar’ blood.


	4. Chapter 4

They had arrived at the castle without further problems, and after a brief report from Galion, everyone had retired to their quarters for a much-needed rest. A room had been prepared for the Golod, away from the family’s quarters, and Eleborn had guided him there. Only Thranduil was still standing alone in the throne chamber, thinking.

He was worried for Eleborn. After being tortured and raped, Eleborn was vulnerable, and he could easily grow too attached to his new friend. What if Alagoss left? Thranduil didn’t want to see his brother heartbroken. And even if Alagoss loved Eleborn back, what if they left Mirkwood together? Thranduil was aware that his brother was a skilled warrior, but he wanted to keep him safe after his years on enslavement.

He ran a hand through his hair. Maybe Eleborn was right when he teased him about being too serious or worrying too much about everything. Thranduil could not help it. Since Eleborn left, he had been the only one available to help his father. Then their mother had been killed, and Oropher had been heartbroken for months. 

Thranduil was aware that he had to stop seeing the Golod as a threat and get to know him better as his father had suggested. It was another way to protect his family.

“Pardon, my Prince.”

“Yes, Galion?”

“I was about to retire for the night when I saw lord Alagoss walking out of the perimeter of the castle. He is standing alone near one of the enchanted rivers.”

Thranduil sighed inwardly. “I will see to this, Galion. Thank you for telling me. Is my brother around?”

“Prince Eleborn is asleep, your Highness.”

“Good.”

Thranduil left the castle and headed to the enchanted river that crossed the perimeter guarded by the Greenwood’s patrols. What was the Golod doing there? Surely Eleborn had warned him about the rivers north from the castle.

Soon he saw the… Alagoss standing alone near the river, his eyes fixed on the sky. He was dressed in a simple tunic and leggings. No cloak, and apparently no weapons. 

Thranduil coughed softly, to make his presence known, but Alagoss did not react. Only when Thranduil called him by name the Golod seemed to wake up from whatever dream he was in.

“Prince Thranduil, I did not hear you approach.”

“That is obvious.” Thranduil took a deep breath to curb down his temper. “I do not mean to be rude, Alagoss, but though you are still within the protective circle of our patrols, I could have been an enemy and attacked you.”

“You are right, Prince Thranduil…”

Thranduil frowned. “Are you unwell?” Alagoss shook his head, but he was pale. “Come here, sit down, and call me Thranduil.”

Alagoss nodded and sat down under a tree. “I am well, Thranduil, believe me. I was trying to communicate with my father.”

“By looking at the sky?”

Alagoss blinked, and his eyes finally cleared. “He is not in Endorë… Ennorath.”

Thranduil crouched beside Alagoss and looked into his eyes. “Where is your father?”

“In the Blessed Lands.”

Thranduil could tell that Alagoss was hiding something, and it made him angry. He was not patient with these games, but he didn’t want to make Alagoss uncomfortable either. 

And that was a surprise…

Thranduil sat down beside him. “So, your father did not come with the Golodhrim?”

Alagoss looked away for a moment. “No, he stayed in Aman. My mother stayed there too.”

“It must have been difficult to leave your family. Eleborn told me that you came with King Fingolfin.”

“Yes, I was friends with his younger son, Arakáno, called Argon in your tongue. He died as soon as we set foot on these lands.”

“You were there when he died.”

Alagoss’ eyes darkened with pain. “He died in my arms. I could not save him.”

“That must have been painful, but maybe he could not be saved. Eleborn told me you used to be a healer.”

“I am a healer, but I am a warrior too. That is an oddity among my people. Healers are not supposed to take arms, though they can if needed. My skills were of no use when Arakáno died, so I have been mostly a warrior since then.”

Alagoss’ pain was making Thranduil uncomfortable, and that was odd. It was as if the Golod’s pain was radiating in waves off him.

“Was he… your partner?”

Alagoss shook his head. “No, just a very dear friend. I have never had a partner. Love is not for me.”

“Then be careful with Eleborn. If my brother falls in love with you…”

Alagoss smiled, eyes still sad. “Eleborn is my friend, nothing else. I would never hurt him, THranduil.”

Thranduil nodded. “Are you going to stay here? This river is enchanted. If you get in it, you will fall asleep.”

“I know. I sensed the enchantment. I will go back soon, trust me.”

“All right.”

Thranduil wished he could take Alagoss back, or at least have a reason to stay around, but he had no choice but to trust him. He did tell a guard to keep an eye on him, just in case.


	5. Chapter 5

Alagoss watched Thranduil go for a moment, and then turned his eyes back to the sky. He knew that his father could not hear him, but he had meant it when he told Thranduil that he was trying to communicate with his father. In a way, Alagoss had hoped that his father was looking at him, that Tilion would tell him that his son was in the Greenwoods, sick in body and spirit. 

He would see his father soon, anyway. For all his good intentions, Master Gelon could not heal a curse. Alagoss was dying, slowly falling into despair and the ties his fëa had with his hröa would break sooner or later. 

It was only his Maia blood that had sustained him so far, but Alagoss was tired, and sometimes he wanted to lie down and let go. It would all end and he would be back with his parents, and maybe Arakáno had come out of the Halls. He should have been able to heal his friend, to call some power from the land, to do something. He had tried to do that while fighting the Orcs, and a cold hand had stopped him. 

Fingolfin’s guards had found him on the battlefield, unconscious and shivering with a strange fever. Elves never got sick, and he was not wounded. It was that cold hand who stopped him and was draining his lifeforce away. 

He would let this river take his life if Eleborn was not his friend. He didn’t want to hurt him. AS for Thranduil, he would surely be relieved that “the Golod” was no longer in his father’s realm.

Ah, he was being unfair with the prince. All Thranduil wanted was to see him gone, not dead. It was Alagoss who wanted to speak with him, to be his friend, but that was not going to happen.

Eleborn, on the other side, was open and caring, and his travels to other lands had taught him to see the good and the bad in other people at first glance. He would be a good partner for someone like Alagoss, but fate had other plans for them both. 

Alagoss sighed and slowly returned to his quarters. He knew that Thranduil had left a guard to keep an eye on him. After being in battle, and a lone traveler, Alagoss knew when someone was watching him. He didn’t mind. He was a guest from King Oropher, and his heir would make sure that nothing bad happened to him while in the castle.

“A week,” he said to himself as he opened the door and entered his bedroom. “I will stay for a week, and then leave before I lose my resolve and try to make this place my home.”

Alagoss let himself fall onto the bed without taking his boots. He was tired, and the need to sleep was slowly taking hold of him. To sleep and not think. That was the only peace he had now.

He woke up at dawn and waited until a servant had drawn a bath for him. After thanking the servant for his diligence, Alagoss disrobed and settled into the scented bath. It had been a long time since he had bathed properly and for a moment, he let himself enjoy it. He had been bathing in rivers and lakes, always aware that anyone could attack him, always with a knife in his hand. This was a welcome change.

Alagoss knew that he could not get used to it, though, so he left the bath and dried himself. There were fresh clothes for him to wear, and his weapons were there too. A sign of trust from the King, a trust he would not betray. He got dressed and braided his hair as best as he could. He felt vulnerable and exposed without his knife, but for now he would leave it in his rooms.

Eleborn was waiting for him on the way to the dining room. “You do wake up early, Alagoss.”

Alagoss smiled. “I am used to it. What about you?”

“I thought you would need company until breakfast is ready. Care to come with me so I can show you the castle?”

“I would like that. This castle is different to others I have seen. We, Noldor, build with less regard for nature that you Sindar do.”

“That is because we are closer to it,” Eleborn said. “Come with me.”

“And you have blended with it, while we came and tried to tame it.”

“We learned that from the Silvan Elves,” Eleborn said as they walked through the many passages and halls in the castle. 

“You father lived in Menegroth.”

“Yes, and that was also a palace built in caves, but Thingol had been in the Blessed Realm, and he had Melian with him. It was a different castle in the caves.”

They finally reached the entrance to the castle in time to see Thranduil returning with a patrol. 

“My brother is an early riser too. I will take on the midmorning patrol.”

Thranduil came towards them. “Only you could make Eleborn rise so early, Alagoss. Now he will fall asleep on his horse when he goes out.”

“Oh… I will go with him.”

Eleborn laughed. “He is teasing you, and I will have a little sleep after breakfast. Now hurry up, brother. I am starving.”


	6. Chapter 6

Thranduil rushed to the healing house as soon as word came of a spiders’ attack. Eleborn was unhurt but Alagoss had been wounded. Oropher was already there. Eleborn looked shaken. Master Gelon was tending to Alagoss wounds while Oropher spoke to Eleborn.

“Thranduil, I need to tell you something. Your brother already knows.”

Eleborn looked at Thranduil and then turned to help Master Gelon. There were other wounded guards, but none of them looked as badly as Alagoss. He turned to his father.

“Alagoss is dying.”

“What?”

“Not because of this wound. He has been dying since the Golodhrim came to these lands. It’s a curse, and what he did today hastened the process.”

Thranduil could not understand. Dying for so long? A curse?

“What did he do? Did you know about this, Father?”

“He called for his power to stop the attack. I knew about this. Alagoss told me and Master Gelon, who has been trying to find a cure. Alagoss’ lifeforce is tied to the land, and every time he calls for his power, it drains him further.”

“I did not know he had that power, being a Golod.”

“Alagoss’ father is a Maia named Morinehtar.”

“So, that is why he was calling for his father the other night. I saw him alone near one of the enchanted rivers, and he told me that.”

Oropher led Thranduil away from Alagoss’ bed. “He cannot return to the West unless he dies. He defied the Valar by coming here, though he did not kill at Alqualondë. He was only a healer back then.”

“So, he is going to die for helping us, just like that?”

“Master Gelon is doing all he can, and we have sent word to the Ents. They might know of some ancient magic.”

“Eleborn must be so worried.”

“As worried as you are, my son. I can see it on your face. I have to attend to the court and realm, but maybe you could stay and support your brother?”

“I will stay.”

Thranduil didn’t have the energy to deny that he was also very worried for Alagoss. He had barely spoken to him, yet he felt a connection to the Elf dying on the cot. Alagoss had risked his life to save Eleborn and the other guards. He should not die for it.

He approached to the bed. Alagoss had opened his eyes, but he was very weak. Eleborn was helping him to drink some medicine.

“You were very brave out there, Alagoss. We are grateful for your help, but I wished you had told us about this before. I would have stopped you from going with the patrol.”

“That is what I have told him,” Eleborn said. “Master Gelon will find the way to fix this…”

Alagoss smiled at Eleborn, and then turned to Thranduil. “I knew… what would happen. There were too… too many spiders.”

Thranduil took one of Alagoss’ hands. “We will find a way to keep you alive. Eleborn… and I want you to survive, so does our father.”

“Master Gelon has sent word to the Ents,” Eleborn said. “They are ancient and walked these lands before we woke up in Cuiviénen.”

It was their last hope, but Thranduil had the feeling that it might not be enough. He locked eyes with Alagoss and saw the truth in it. 

“Eleborn, can you take care of the young ones’ training this afternoon? I will stay with Alagoss.”

When Eleborn seemed to hesitate, Alagoss spoke. “Go on... Eleborn. You have been here since we came back... You need... some rest and distraction, my friend.”

“I will be back as soon as possible.”

“He needs… to sleep…”

“I will have Master Gelon sedate my brother when he comes back. Now tell me, Alagoss, how bad is it?”

“Bad… but I will not… die today…”

Thranduil nodded. “Where were you when the Valar defeated Morgoth?”

“I was far away… in the East.”

Alagoss paled and closed his eyes briefly.

Thranduil reached out to touch his forehead. It was cold and clammy. “Do you wish to sleep? I should not be making you speak.”

“I do not want to sleep,” Alagoss said. When he opened his eyes, there was pain in them and some measure of fear in their depths. 

“Then I will speak, and you will listen,” Thranduil said. He brushed a few strands of hair off Alagoss forehead and kept his hand in his own.

Alagoss did not seem to mind, and Thranduil realized how much the other Elf needed the contact. Loneliness did that to an Elf, and Alagoss had been lonely for too long.

Thranduil started to tell him about the Greenwood and how his father had come to these lands and married a Silvan Maiden, while Amdir had done the same and settled in Lothlórien. He told Alagoss about his childhood with Eleborn, and the many wonders to be found in the forest. When Alagoss feel asleep, Thranduil did not let go of his hand. He would stay there until the other Elf woke up.


	7. Chapter 7

Alagoss spent a few more days in the healing halls. The Ents had sent word with an Elf who lived near Fangorn Forest and invited Alagoss to visit them. Iarwain Ben-adar, known to the Seconborn as Tom Bombadil, would be passing through and he might be able to help him.

“I still think that I should go with you into the forest,” Eleborn said. “Iarwain Ben-adar can be unpredictable.”

“I have seen him from afar once, and he does not look as dangerous as I thought. What I do know is that he is very jealous of his dominions. If the Ents said that I should enter the Fangorn alone, that is what I must do.” He smiled at Eleborn. “I am better now, my friend, and you and Thranduil will ride with me until we are close to the forest.”

Eleborn embraced him tightly. “I will miss you, Alagoss. You are the first friend that I have since… since I was taken by those Seconborn. Trust is no longer easy for me, but I cannot keep things inside like Thranduil or my father. I know I am being selfish, but I need you.”

Alagoss held him close. “You are not selfish, Eleborn. You are the first friend I have had since Arakáno died. You have given me so much, but now we must part. We shall see each other again one day if the Ents and Iarwain Ben-adar can heal me.”

Eleborn sighed and moved back. “We both know that it might not be possible. I heard you and my father speak about this when the message came. If you are too sick, you will have to sail to the West.”

“And one day you will sail too, when the time of the Secondborn comes. Eleborn, you must speak to Thranduil. He keeps his emotions in control, and that is not good for him. Thranduil is your brother, and he loves you.”

“And you love him.”

Alagoss looked away. Eleborn knew him well and would have noticed. He only hoped that Thranduil did not know.

“Alagoss…”

“Thranduil cannot know. I do not know how it happened, or why.”

Eleborn placed a hand on his shoulder. “I will not tell him. Love is something that happens, or not. You and I would have been good for each other, but we are friends.”

Alagoss looked back at Eleborn. “We are friends. I have thought about it too, Eleborn. Falling in love with you would have been good, but my heart always wants what it cannot have.”

“Have you been in love before?”

“Arakáno, but he was in love with Ecthelion. It was long ago. We were young and lived in Tirion.”

Eleborn seemed about to say something when they heard a knock on the door. It was Thranduil, ready for the ride to Fangorn Forest. 

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“Yes, we were just speaking about Iarwain Ben-adar, and how unpredictable he seems to be,” Eleborn said.

“Treebeard will be there too, and he is friend of our father. I would like to go with you into the forest, Alagoss, but I know it is not possible.”

Alagoss nodded slowly, shaking himself when he realized that he had been silent for too long. 

“Are you all right?” Thranduil said. “You are pale.”

Alagoss took a deep breath. “I am well.”

“We will have something to eat before we leave,” Eleborn said.

Thranduil looked at Alagoss for a moment and then turned to Eleborn. “Father is waiting for us in the dining hall. Leave your bags here, Alagoss. A servant will bring everything to the stables. Nestad is ready.”

“Thank you, Thranduil.”

They headed to the dining hall together, and after a breakfast with the king, they headed to the stables. Eleborn went ahead to make sure that everything was ready. A small patrol would come with them to ensure their safety. 

“I hope everything goes well, Alagoss. Not only because of Eleborn. I consider you a friend, and I wish we had more time to know each other better. There are many things I didn’t know about the Golodhrim, a few misconceptions, but I guess we all want the best for our peoples.”

Alagoss wondered if Thranduil also knew that his chances of being healed were slim, but he decided that it mattered not. This was the first time that Thranduil spoke to him about their friendship and the doubts he’d had.

“Thank you, I hope that they can heal me but if not, I am glad that we have met. I knew little about your people as we Noldor were forbidden to come to Menegroth, save for Arafinwë’s children. King Thingol had every right to be disgusted by what we did at Alqualondë. I have asked forgiveness to your father and brother. I hope that you can forgive me too.”

“Eleborn told me that you believed that the sons of Fëanor were being attacked. I cannot forget what happened there, but I know that you are not a cold killer.”

“The Oath made killers of Fëanor and his sons.”

“I know. Alagoss, I wish I could say more but my duty as heir comes first. I care for you more than I have ever cared for anyone.”

Alagoss closed his eyes to keep the tears at bay, and when Thranduil gathered him close, he held to the other Elf, knowing that this might be the last time they would see each other.

“Be safe, Thranduil,” he said when they both moved away.

Thranduil nodded and kissed one of Alagoss’ hands. “Live, Alagoss, and come back one day. Promise that you will do everything you can to be healed.”

“Everything is ready.” It was Eleborn, and Alagoss sighed in relief. He had been about to ask Thranduil for a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Thranduil let go of Alagoss’ hand, but not before Eleborn saw them. He didn’t mind, and he wished he could speak with his brother about his feelings. He too used to keep his emotions tightly controlled. The last time he had let go had been when Eleborn returned, not knowing that his younger brother had been captured and enslaved by the Secondborn. He would never forgive himself for believing that Eleborn did not care about their parents.

Since that day, Thranduil had become more reserved, and very protective of Eleborn. He had been worried for his father too, but Oropher was well now. Thranduil still suspected that his father and King Amdír had been close in Menegroth. He knew that there was genuine love between his parents, but he understood now that there were other kinds of love that you could not have when you were the heir of a throne.

Thranduil had to produce an heir. It was his duty. 

He looked at Alagoss, and then at Eleborn. The silence was not uncomfortable, but Thranduil could feel Alagoss’ sadness and Eleborn’s concern. He sighed. It was time to go. He gestured for the others to mount and led the way. A small patrol followed them.

They traveled in silence at first, but as they left the Greenwood and began the route along the eastern bank of the Anduin, they started to speak about the lands, and the peoples of Ennorath. Alagoss had never seen a Dwarf but knew of them. They spoke about the Secondborn’s settlements, both west and east from the Hithaeglir. They stopped to eat before crossing the Anduin and went on until they were close enough for Alagoss to enter it without risking at attack.

“Talk to him, Thranduil,” Eleborn said. “I have said good-bye already.”

Thranduil nodded and moved his horse near to Alagoss’. 

“It is time,” Alagoss said softly. He looked calm, but Thranduil knew better. Alagoss would either be healed or sail to the West. 

“I wish I could go with you,” Thranduil said once again. “I hope for the best, and that you come out of the Fangorn healed and we can meet again.”

Alagoss took his hand and looked into his eyes. “I love you, Thranduil. I want you to know it. I know we cannot be together, but I needed to say it. I wish you the best.”

In that moment Thranduil wanted to throw caution to the wind and go into the Fangorn with Alagoss to make sure that he was healed, and then bring him back to the Greenwood.

“I love you too,” he said. “Please, take care of yourself, Alagoss. You have friends in the Greenwood, and you would have me if I was not the heir.”

Alagoss closed his eyes for a moment. “I know, I can feel it. If I do not go into the forest now, I will stay with you until I die.”

Thranduil leaned closer and kissed Alagoss’ lips. “Go now, my love, and never speak of death again.”

Alagoss looked at him for a long moment and then turned Nestad around and urged him into a canter. Thranduil did not move until Alagoss entered the forest. He knew that Eleborn was watching him, but his brother was losing a friend and had his own pain to deal with.

“Let’s go back, Eleborn.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“We will dismount, and you will tell me how you feel, and I will listen. You are my brother, Thranduil, and I appreciate how protective you can be, but now it is you who needs to speak, and I want to listen.”

Thranduil nodded. “All right, but not here. Let us return to the last creek we found. There we can rest, all of us. The horses can drink some water and…” Eleborn was looking at him. “Thank you,” Thranduil said, and after a signal to the patrol, they headed to the creek.


End file.
